“The work of a mature person is to carry grief in one hand, and gratitude in the other, and to be stretched by them.” ~ Tim McKee
There is something powerful about the space that lies between our two full hands. Between our grief and our gratitude lies our hearts—and this is where we do our hardest work. This space of tension has the power to transform you, if you can let it. ~ Stephanie Moors
This week’s intention is FORGIVENESS. Forgiveness is full of heart opening, honesty, humility and vulnerability. I have found that those who forgive freely are those who have been forgiven much. Experiencing true forgiveness, whether deserved or not, opens the heart to hope and freedom.
“Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage.” ~ Brene’ Brown
Do you struggle with anger? Well really, who doesn’t? What’s interesting is anger is a secondary emotion, just the tip of the iceberg of all our original sources of unresolved pain: hurt, humiliation, betrayal, abandonment, abuse, and rejection.
Identify who has made you angry or resentful.
Identify what was taken from you.
Decide to forgive that person.
When do you think you’ll be ready?
The longer you carry the anger, the greater the risks,
and you may lose sight of the original source.
Who can you forgive today?
It may be even forgiving yourself.
Be honest with yourself…what are you feeling deep down inside? Under the anger. Under the rage. Under the numb “I don’t care, it doesn’t matter.” Are you really feeling scared? Hurt? Abandoned? Go more deeply into yourself and your emotions than you have ever gone before. Be more honest with yourself than you have ever been before. The way to the heart is tender, soft, gentle, and honest. The way to the heart is to be vulnerable. You don’t have to be so brave. You don’t have to be so strong. You don’t always have to walk away with your head held high saying, “I can handle this, I’ve been through worse before.” Become angry if you must. Feel your rage if it’s there. Go numb once in a while, if you must. Then take a chance, and go a little deeper. Go way down deep inside. See what’s there. Take a look. Risk being vulnerable. ~ Melody Beattie
Forgiveness Meditation ❤️
Reflect for a moment on that quality we call forgiveness. Bring into your mind, actually into your heart, the image of someone for whom you have some resentment.
Take a moment to feel that person right there at the center of your chest in the heart center. And in your heart say to that person: “I forgive you for anything you may have done in the past, either intentionally or unintentionally, through your thoughts, words, or actions that caused me pain. I forgive you.”
Slowly allow that person to settle into your heart.
Don’t judge yourself for how difficult it is.
No force, just opening slowly to them at your own pace. Say to them: “I forgive you. I forgive you for the pain you caused me in the past, intentionally or unintentionally by your thoughts, your deeds, your words. I forgive you.”
Gently, gently open to them. If it hurts, let it hurt. Gradually open to that person. That resentment, that incredible anger, even if it burns, ever so gently though. Forgiveness.
“I forgive you.”
Let your heart open to them.
It is so painful to hold someone out of your heart.
“I forgive you.”
Let your heart open just a bit more to them. Just a moment of opening, of forgiveness, letting go of resentment.
Allow them to be forgiven.
Now, opening more to forgiveness, bring into your heart the image of someone from whom you wish to ask forgiveness.
Speak to them in your heart. “I ask your forgiveness for anything I may have done in the past that caused you pain, either by my thoughts or my actions or my words. Even for those things I didn’t intend to cause you pain, I ask your forgiveness.”
“For all those words that were said out of forgetfulness or fear. Out of my closed-ness, out of my confusion. I ask your forgiveness.”
Don’t allow any resentment to hold yourself closed, to block your reception of that forgiveness. Let your heart soften to it. Allow yourself to be forgiven.
Let yourself be freed.
Let that unworthiness come up, that anger at yourself-let it all fall away. Let it all go.
Open to the possibility of forgiveness.
“I ask your forgiveness for whatever I may have done in the past that caused you pain. By the way I acted or spoke or thought, I ask your forgiveness.”
It is so painful to hold yourself out of your own heart.
Bring yourself into your heart. Say “I forgive you,” to yourself. Don’t reject yourself.
Using your own first name, in your heart say, “I forgive you.” Open to that. Let it be. Make room in your heart for yourself.
“I forgive you.”
All those resentments, let them fall away.
Open to the self-forgiveness. Let yourself have some space.
Let go of that bitterness, that hardness, that judgement of your self.
Say, “I forgive you.” to you.
Let some glimmering of loving-kindness be directed toward yourself. Allow your heart to open to you. Let that light, that care for yourself, grow.
Watch how thoughts of unworthiness and fears of being self-indulgent try to block the possibility of once and for all letting go of that hardening.
See the freedom in self-forgiveness. How can you hold on to that pain even a moment longer?
Feel that place of love and enter into it.
Allow yourself the compassion and care of self-forgiveness. Let yourself float gently in the open heart of understanding, of forgiveness, and peace.
Feel how hard it is for us to love ourselves. Feel the pain in the hearts of all those caught in confusion. Forgive them. Forgive yourself. Let go gently of the pain that hides the immensity of your love.
Let yourself love and be loved.
Adapted from A Forgiveness Meditation ©1991 Stephen Levine
Peace Prayer of Saint Francis
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
There is freedom in forgiveness.
I forgive you, and I forgive myself, and I am free. ❤️