Throughout 2015, I received soul nudges to share my life experiences in a bigger way through writing. Feeling totally out of my comfort zone, yet a bit intrigued, I tucked these promptings aside. On October 2, my 45th birthday, an acquaintance invited me to write an article for an online yoga magazine. I answered the call, and considered this opportunity a divinely given blessing.
Within the next month, a social media post caught my attention. I read through it repeatedly — an invitation to be a contributor for an upcoming book, 365 Moments of Grace, by Jodi Chapman and Dan Teck. “This book will contain personal stories of grace, miracles, and transformations from beautiful souls all around the world to show how magical our world is and how connected we truly are.” Yes! That was me. It deeply resonated.
Before ever jumping into anything, I seek God, meditate on Scriptures, and rest in silent awareness, listening for spiritual insight and guidance. Divine direction and confirmation are essential for my soul. In fact, one meaning of grace is a “divinely given blessing.” Was God wanting me to answer this call, this blessing? I randomly received (or not so random!) Psalm 45:1-2 (NAS), “My heart overflows [is astir] with a good theme; I address my verses to the King; my tongue is the pen of a ready writer. Thou art fairer than the sons of men; grace is poured upon [through] thy lips; therefore God has blessed thee forever.” WOW! Just wow. I signed up immediately to contribute two entries for the book.
My second piece, Unimaginable Grace, is about a grace journey with my step-father, George. He was married to my mother for five years, yet in my life for thirty. I recently found the following letter written by my mom in 1980. It describes a snippet of our experiences with substance abuse and domestic violence. Her soul cries out for release, respect, and dignity.
The only thing I wanted out of life was peace, love, and respect. I gained peace through my nursing career, and being capable, finally, of bearing a normal, healthy, intelligent, and beautiful daughter. It would be impossible for you to understand, that, after losing four babies, I could go to a store, carrying my baby, and have people stop, look, and tell me how beautiful she was. I felt respect and respectable!
Now, I have lost all self-respect. When you, in your infinite wisdom, decided that Heather, should be told for five hours that she is a shit-ass, pot-bellied, selfish, stupid, thumb-sucking, half Indian, using other language that I cannot, or will not, repeat, something inside me died. It is impossible to continue living this kind of life; Heather deserves better treatment than what you and I together make out. I brought her into this marriage and it is up to me to give her some relief.
This is leading up to the point that I would like a divorce. I realise it will not be easy for Heather and I to live comfortably financially, but we will be a lot happier, not having to worry about your next blow-up; who knows what would happen; you have broken bones, and caused other bruises and abrasions on my body; broken my car windows, and caused all kinds of dents. What is left?
When I see a lawyer, I will ask him only that I want out of this marriage because of irreconcilable difficulties; I will not request alimony, only my savings account, plus what furniture is mine. If you agree to this, we can do it amicably. If not, we will hurt Heather even more than any 9-year old child deserves to hurt.
I admit that the blame does not all rest on you, but I did try to change you, and make you less selfish. I was looking at life through rose-coloured glasses, as usual.
As is typical of the abuse cycle, my mother did not follow through with the divorce, and stayed with George for another four years. Four, very long years of continual crisis for us all.
The Forbes Family, my maternal Scottish Clan, embraces the motto: Grace Me Guide. Amazing Grace did, and still guides me. You can read my stories of Unimaginable Grace and The Illusion of Control in the brand-new, bestselling book, 365 Moments of Grace.
I hope each reader of this inspirational book will be encouraged to share their own unique story. Every journey matters. Grace beautifully guides.
Will you answer the call? ❤️
“…We have all received grace upon grace.” John 1:16 (NAS)
P.S. Please check out our blog tour where many of the contributing authors will be sharing about 365 Moments of Grace over the next month. Here are the co-authors sharing today and tomorrow.
Jenna Kelland – www.sparkwellness.ca
Karla Joy Huber – http://karlahuberblog.blogspot.com/
Josie Wood – http://www.heartful-living.com
Tanya Destang-Beaubrun – http://tanyabeaubrun.com
Angie Carter – www.staystrongprojectlife.com